August 2008
3 posts
Hate hate hate laundry.
Ow.
Oh god, just bikes all the way to Ehole Foods South Loop. Now have to get home. I love my new bike.
Hmm
Maybe I’ll make an effort to update via iPhone.
January 2008
1 post
holy crap. i just got home from the empty bottle, and i DON’T smell like an ashtray.
December 2007
2 posts
goodbye, pigeon man. →
Don’t miss it out! Grow a monster in your pants for New Year!
November 2007
1 post
i
considering only posting amazing spam titles from here on out. thoughts? *** examples: Forget about failures in bedroom. With your new bigger dic’k you’re doomed to success! or - from the body of a spam i got to my work email: Dont be a looooser, make her scream from pleasant
October 2007
2 posts
Don't be a dick on the CTA. →
- thanks, Chicago Magazine!
I think my grandmother is high.
This is how our email exchange just went: [background - I’m asking her about insurance] Grandma: What abaaoaut Geico — the lizard! Me: Geico has consistently given me extremely high rates. This is probably also because they want your past 5 years of violations history, and I’m 4 years out of them now. I just looked now though - quotes of $756/half, when others are quoting...
September 2007
2 posts
well, this is interesting →
- good thing i didn’t pony up the cash for lolla this year either!
6.8 →
- aaaaaaaah hahahahahahahahaha.
August 2007
7 posts
BLUE MOON ICE CREAM!!! →
Watch“so, david, where are you from?”
10 ways to look like a douchenozzle →
Watchwalken. chicken. pears.
Watchmmm, david wain.
July 2007
11 posts
taxi strike? →
well, maybe if you didn’t drive like leadfood maniacs you wouldn’t have to worry so much about gas prices, eh?
also
two articles in slate today contain the word “frisson“… wtf?
best first paragraph in a slate article ever.
“What exactly is the point of Catherine Zeta-Jones? Fine, she’s beautiful, but who isn’t in Hollywood these days? And sure, the whole married-to-Michael-Douglas thing provides a certain creepy May/December frisson. For all I know, Z-J may be a wonderful wife, a loving mother, and a great humanitarian, but watching clothes spin at the laundromat is more compelling than watching...
can't tell me nothin' →
zach galifianakis + will oldham; in a kanye west video
r.i.p.
pat brice. though i only saw him do stand-up a few times, you could really tell he was talented, very personable. i would have to say that this is the funniest thing i read that he’d written. and just on sunday i was telling dimitri about “rent or own”. =(
threat level: chicago dog →
hahahahahahahahaha →
- “microfiber militia”… stitch ‘n’ ditch!
hooray for this guy! →
no, seriously. screw the TSA.
my new crush →
June 2007
16 posts
passive agressive notes →
- how did i miss this?
who's nerdier? this time, i think it's me.
chrissy: http://www.newsnet5.com/technology/13526538/detail.html interesting
me: saw that already this morning.
dammit.
not so quiet any more now, is it?
chrissy: guess not
me: i can't believe naked DSL isn't available yet.
chrissy: naked?
me: yes.
DSL w/o paying for a phone line.
RTFA
chrissy: RTFA meaning?
me: read the fucking article
chrissy: i hate internet acronyms.
me: you've never seen that on the internets?
chrissy: um no.
me: oh please, you use brb
and afk!
chrissy: right
those are easy.
me: so's RTFA once you've seen it once
chrissy: right.
okwttyligtgtw
me: ok well talk to you later i got to go w___ ?
chrissy: fuck you
haha.
me: hahahahahahhahaha.
i win!
chrissy: jbiabssh
me: jen [redacted] is a big stupid slutbag h__ ?
chrissy: Jen [Redacted] is a big smelly shit head
i fucking hate you hha
haha
me: aaaah, i was close.
chrissy: sslteawwm
me: i think shithead is one word, btw.
chrissy: Sometimes she likes to eat a weiner with mustard.
yeah i thought that too.
me: you SHOULD eat a weiner with mustard!!
chrissy: it's the internets though i can do what i want.
i should
but all i have are chik'n patties in the freezer
woe is me.
“my dad is so cool, he is the coolest dad in dad school. he does not break any...”
– “snake mistakes” by dan deacon
FOOD FIGHT!!! →
like a hairy elevator →
Watchoh sweet joy, a video exists for this song!
sick! →
Watch
fascinating →
- not at all being sarcastic, this is incredible.
Wheelchair user taken on wild 50-mph ride →
- yes, i laughed out loud at my desk before even reading the article.
official/long trailer for the ten! →
- though it’s still too bad i have to wait until august to see it…
May 2007
29 posts
well, someone had to say it. →
completely ridiculous, but so pretty. →
Watchlate night with conan o’brien - first episode - september 13, 1993
yep. →
