madeline and nine RSS

i'm always holding half-empty cans of shaving cream and crying.

 

Archive

Aug
26th
Tue
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Hate hate hate laundry.

Aug
25th
Mon
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Ow.

Oh god, just bikes all the way to Ehole Foods South Loop. Now have to get home. I love my new bike.

Aug
24th
Sun
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Hmm

Maybe I’ll make an effort to update via iPhone.

Jan
5th
Sat
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<3

holy crap.  i just got home from the empty bottle, and i DON’T smell like an ashtray.

Dec
20th
Thu
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Dec
6th
Thu
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Don’t miss it out! Grow a monster in your pants for New Year!

Nov
20th
Tue
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i <3 spam

considering only posting amazing spam titles from here on out.  thoughts?

*** 

examples:

Forget about failures in bedroom. With your new bigger dic’k you’re doomed to success!

or - from the body of a spam i got to my work email:

Dont be a looooser, make her scream from pleasant

Oct
25th
Thu
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Oct
17th
Wed
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I think my grandmother is high.

This is how our email exchange just went:
[background - I’m asking her about insurance]

Grandma:  What abaaoaut Geico — the lizard!

Me:
  Geico has consistently given me extremely high rates.  This is probably also because they want your past 5 years of violations history, and I’m 4 years out of them now.  I just looked now though - quotes of $756/half, when others are quoting much less.  Eff Geico.

Grandma:  That is much higher.  Must pay for the advertising lizard!

Sep
28th
Fri
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Sep
11th
Tue
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Aug
31st
Fri
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Aug
15th
Wed
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um… how did I miss this being filmed in Chicago?

looks pretty cute.

Aug
10th
Fri
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“so, david, where are you from?”

Aug
9th
Thu
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