madeline and nine

best first paragraph in a slate article ever.

“What exactly is the point of Catherine Zeta-Jones? Fine, she’s beautiful, but who isn’t in Hollywood these days? And sure, the whole married-to-Michael-Douglas thing provides a certain creepy May/December frisson. For all I know, Z-J may be a wonderful wife, a loving mother, and a great humanitarian, but watching clothes spin at the laundromat is more compelling than watching her on the big screen. Your average load of laundry boasts an array of colors and textures, and it occasionally moves in unexpected ways as you stare through the front-loader window. Z-J’s symmetrical face and lush body are so immobile she appears carved—she’s literally statuesque.”

(from a review of No Reservations)